Reader's discretion is advised.
I don't know what it is lately, but I've been such a downer. I can't seem to love myself enough. So many different thoughts run through my head that are probably ridiculous, but they seem completely logical to me. Maybe it's because I'm so stressed out lately because of everything that's going on. I can't bring myself to be happy for people. It's so weird. Like I find out a friend is having a baby and my instant reaction is, "ugh." and I want to roll my eyes (is this the miscarriage talking?) Same thing when I found out someone was getting married. Like I want to say, "Big whoop." Everyone is sending their congratulations and I have absolute zero desire to be a part of that. That is so not me. I'm usually right in there, patting you on the back with my excitement and enthusiasm skyrocketing and my congratulations are sincere and heartfelt. Of course this is mostly on facebook and I can't even bring myself to type a lie. So I don't, or I do and then I feel dirty, because I don't really care at all, or maybe for some reason I'm mad at them for being happy right now. I don't think I've ever felt this way ever in my whole life. Maybe I did in college(yeah probably--I really really really hated my college years). What is wrong with me? I need to snap out of this.
3 comments:
I know what's wrong with you! It's called the grieving process and it STINKS. I've had crazy thoughts I'm afraid to tell anyone for fear they'll admit me to the psych ward. No joke. Luckily (or maybe unluckily) I've been through this before so I know it's normal. Hang in there. Once the hormones clear your system you'll begin to feel better then it's easier to cope. (((hugs))) my friend.
You need me. I need you. Let's get together and it will all be ok! I'm serious. Let's plan a girls trip asap!
Hang in there, Linsey. You'll pull through it. I agree with sissamom. I think it's grief (and discouragement). Been there many times myself. You'll make it.
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