I ain't raisin' no squares.

I want my kids to be well rounded, which is the main reason I cut out the princess fever going on at our house. I didn't totally cut her off from t altogether, I was just trying to encourage her to be excited about other things. I'm happy to report that my efforts have been successful thus far. In fact, I'd say that I'm willing to let her do more princess stuff at home in moderation. She loves ballet and dance, angelina ballerina, fancy nancy and is really getting excited about other things as well. I've also noticed that the new princess dolls and material are taking a modest turn.

I guess the main reason we've done this is because both BJ and I are trying to create more of a gospel learning environment for the kids, as well. So we are trying to find ways to educate them about the scriptures easily and to get them familiar with and excited about the stories and the language of the scriptures. It's hard at this point because most of the material available is for bigger kids. Livi is starting to get there, and she talks all the time about how we are all princes and princesses because our Heavenly Father is a King. (Thank you Veggietales for validating what we've been trying to teach her!)

Lately, Livi is all about Angelina Ballerina. Which I'm super happy about because it's a book series and promotes make believe and physical activity. Plus she is in dance classes right now so it helps her to challenge herself there, as well. She is rarely Olivia anymore. She is always correcting me when I address her by name. Silly girl. I love this age, though! We have so much fun playing together. I forgot how much fun make believe can be. Her favorite characters to dress up as are, angelina ballerina and snow white, or just a regular ballerina. It's super fun to see her involve Ethan in her play. He is rarely Ethan anymore either. He's always "Henry" or "prince". Silly kids.

I must sound like such a nut job.

That'll never happen-itis

Everyone is having babies but me. Everyone. Everyone around me at church. My VT partner, the family that sits next to us, two sister in-laws, my little cousin I used to babysit-all grown up and beautiful, every other woman I see at the grocery store... Even people who just had babies. I try really hard not to be sad about it, but I never thought this would be a problem for me. I guess I better stop thinking stuff like that, because once you think, "That'll never happen to me." You better WATCH OUT!

Some examples--All of which I really thought, "That'll never happen to me.":

Some are good some are bad. This is not meant to be a sob post, just a weird thought provoking realization.

I never thought I'd own a home before my 30's. We don't anymore, but hey, we did at one point!

I never thought my dad would get cancer. The week after I thought, "At least he'll never get cancer." He called and told me he had Thyroid cancer, then awhile later, we found out he had Melanoma. (for those of you who don't know his story-he survived both)

I never thought I'd have a miscarriage.

I never thought I'd get married young--I always thought late 20's around 30 maybe...

I never thought I'd have to work at it to get pregnant.

I never thought I'd have a child with food allergies.

I never thought I'd battle weight.

I never thought I'd be "well-endowed". (LOL!)

I always thought I'd be proud to, but never thought I would, marry a cop or serviceman. (He's well on his way to accomplishing the latter as well.)

I never thought I'd have to have a C-Section.

I never thought I'd have a real sister-like-life-long-best-girl-friend. (Love ya, Ash!)

***See? Do you see? It's true! I guess we just have to have faith that Heavenly Father will take you where you need to go. Thankfully I have a very strong testimony of this particular truth, so none of the above bothers me.***

On the flipside, I always knew:

I wouldn't serve an LDS mission while I was single.

My children wouldn't know my dad. (It broke my heart to know this one for so long and try not to know it.)

I would be happy no matter what.

My kids would be adorable.

That my first baby would be a girl.

That I would get married in the temple.

That my husband would be smokin' hot! ;)

That I would be close to my brothers and sisters for my entire life.

That I would never turn my heart or my faith away from the gospel.

~Blessings come at every angle, in all shapes and forms, and we should just take them as they are and run like the wind!

I love my life. I love it! I love it! I love it! So much.
(or as Ethan would say with his adorable grin, "I wuv ooo! Ah-mutsss!"

Balloons

Today, we went to Roberts (Worst craft store EVER!) and they gave my kids some balloons. When we got out of the car the balloons decided to sneak away before we could catch them. Needless to say, my kids were completely devastated, and it was truly one of the saddest things. I watched the balloons floating effortlessly away helplessly wishing I could just reach out and grab it. Then I thought of how the kids were feeling and realized something.

They feel the exact way about their balloons (in that moment) that I do about missing my dad.

I never thought about it before, then it occurred to me that that must be why it's kind of a tradition to release balloons when someone dies. (thoughtful) Huh.

Holy Halloween!

I think I'm getting burned out on Halloween! We had our first annual Halloween party today for the kids and their little friends and it was AWESOME! I didn't even take pictures because I'm such a numbskull, but it was super fun, the kids were so good had so much fun and were so sweet. I loved it, so I really hope they did.

We have done so many fun things with the kids for Halloween. I'm to the point now where I feel like it's time to move on to the next holiday. It's hard to believe there is still a whole week left of this month, but I think it will fly by now that the party is over.

I'm ready to take a nap.

Now I have to get up at 6:30 to pick up my Bountiful Basket at the state fair park and then go have breakfast with some of my favorite ladies behind the best cops in the world! My BPD ladies! I'm excited!

After conference weekend and catching up on blogs of friends and family, I've come to this long time lamented and prayed over conclusion:

I need to be a better mom.

In oh-so many ways.

I wish I could've seen his smile the day he made me

Another song I fell in love with. Some of you know my apprehensions about "Disney Princess". I, like most people, was all excited to get the princess movies for my little girls and had collected quite a few of them. But as I watched Olivia watch these and be influenced by them, I realized how the adversary is really working on our children in these last days. She started to want to dress immodestly, and started to get that "entitled" attitude that comes with the title of princess. It took me a bit to realize where this was coming from, but I started to really notice it after she watched Beauty and the Beast. Then I noticed Tinkerbell on a toothbrush, looking like she should be on the hood of a car. Then I noticed that all of the princess stuff has been super marketed and pushed on these little people and I was appalled at the messages they were sending. Then I noticed what kind of message these movies really do hold. Parents are usually out of the picture, Kids running away from home, Lying to your parents, stealing because you "have to", Dreams to come true even if you don't have to work for it (This one has changed in recent years), and if they don't hold the latter moral, they talk about the dark arts. Voo doo, magic, etc. This world is a hard enough place to grow up in, and I worry enough about keeping my children armored with the things of God. I'm grateful that this was brought to my attention. We watch Disney Princess very sparingly at our house anymore. Like, hardly ever. I don't mind general princess stuff, but these particular ladies are sending the wrong messages to our youth. I'm as surprised as you are at my conclusions, but I want to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do in raising my children, so I have to do what the spirit tells me is right. It doesn't matter what it was for me growing up. It wasn't nearly as promoted as it is these days and these princesses get increasingly sexier. That is definitely not the message I want to be sending my daughter. (And let's be honest. Didn't you like your shoulders a little more after watching the little mermaid and beauty and the beast? I know I did.)

Here's the interesting thing. After I started to pull her away from it, her whole attitude changed. Things I wasn't expecting to happen happened. She was nicer to Ethan, she was more respectful to me, and she wanted to dress modestly again. Just the other day, I had her in her leotard for dance and she said, "Mommy, I need pants on, I need to be modest." So cute.

So, I've been praying and searching for ways to keep the true spirit of princess in her heart. Telling her she is a daughter of God and that that makes her a real princess. We talk about it all the time and the importance of what it means to be a child of God.

We've been helping our kids learn bible stories by reading to them from the LDS Children's Illistrated stories and then we'll all watch the Veggietales associated with that story. It's been kind of fun. The other day I stumbled on "Sweetpea Beauty" (available on my Netflix instant play). So I thought I'd give it a shot and see if she'd take to that princess story. After we watched it, I realized that I was close to tears listening to the message contained (I've become such a bawlbaby, but seriously, the spirit touched me). It's a great one for all of us young and old. At the end there was this song that I totally loved and wanted to share with you. I hope it touches your heart as it did mine. (Does that sound cheesy? Oh well, it's the truth.)

He Listens

It's been quite the month for us. Well, for me. Of course, my husband works graves one month out of this whole year and it happens to be the month that Livi starts preschool, dance/tumbling lessons, Livi floods the basement, moths infest my house, Livi's new box of clothes from cousin Essie arrive, a plethora of family events and affairs come together, E-Bear breaks his finger... and my husband is working his butt of and sleeping to make up for it, and going to school, and working over time, which means virtually we lose a month in the trying to have a baby scheme of things. My life really isn't so bad. Really, it's not. Okay, it has it's stressful moments, but I'm not losing my mind and am doing just great in spite of it all. Really! I don't think I've ever been nicer to my kids. lol. Somehow it works well for my attitude to have major stress. It's just a really good example of the Lord humbling his children so they are reminded of his matchless power. I'm humbled. Truly. I've had some serious thoughts and prayers offered up for people I know exist, but have always wondered how to help. Now I know. Prayer is so great. Such a quiet strength. It's power is beyond my comprehension and I'm so grateful that I can help anyone on the earth just by offering my simple prayer for them.

On the flipside, I do have the occasional melt down, but mostly because I'm missing my partner in crime. Wishing he didn't have to do so much to keep me home. Which makes me think of all the lonely people in the world. How they must feel, and knowing that even in those dark times, Heavenly Father is there for us to buoy us up. He is completely aware of each one of us and our feelings at every given moment. The more I think about that, the more I become keenly aware of it, and the fact that he truly does understand.

I realized what it is about us women (well, at least me) that makes men say, "She doesn't want me to solve her problem. She just wants to talk." It's not just the listening. It's the "getting". I don't want someone to just listen to me and be annoyed, looking at their watch wondering when in the world does this girl ever shut up. I just want someone to really listen to what I have to say. Mull it around in their heads without a thought to their perspective and try to put themselves in my shoes... and understand. All I'm asking for is a little understanding. That's it. A little empathy, a little validation, and you've just made my whole day. That's what Heavenly Father is there for. I need to be better at doing just what I said here for other people, because I'm not perfect and am often thinking of the laundry I need to do, or the dishes I have to load while someone is pouring their heart out to me. But Heavenly Father is perfect. He is there to understand. So if you, like me, have a rough couple of weeks, probably even worse, (I mean, c'mon. There are definitely some greater challenges in the world that befall others, and this too shall pass) Remember he is there, waiting to hear from you, waiting to understand you and speak peace to your soul. (happy sigh) Now. Isn't that wonderful?

NEW BABY!!!

No. Not mine. :( That's something that Heavenly Father definitely has control over. I've been assured it will happen in his due time.

It's our friends who have lost and lost! They finally got their baby and I'm so excited for them it makes me cry! They have been waiting and waiting for their miracle and they were finally able to adopt a little girl... and get this. They are ALSO PREGNANT!!! I'm so excited! This couldn't be happening to better people. Now that they officially have their first new bundle, please keep them in your prayers that her pregnancy will go well and be uneventfully blissful and that all will be well with their new little one.

It's all about your heart

I think I love this artist. I really do. I like to support LDS artists who have healthy family life and a good message in their awesome talents. So, here is my simple endorsement. Love this. (she actually wrote this song for Stephanie Nielson. The Nie Nie dialogues.)

Family Pictures

More pictures from wedding week. Sorry this is taking me so long! I kind of have a lot going on.

We had a family picture taken just before the family dinner since we were all together.

Little Joseph. He's such an adorable handsome little thing.

Ethan and Chloe exploring everything together. She couldn't get enough to the dirt and rocks. She was so excited about it, actually.

I think I'm becoming fairer skinned by the day... BJ snapped this shot while we were waiting around.

Livi loved this duck that Becky has at her house. She wanted to take it everywhere she went.

This is the proof. There is a cropped version that we'll be recieving.